Listening

Recently, I came up with a simple theory about people and the world of listening. Mind you I'm not an expert. This is just my opinion. Here goes.

In this world, there are two types of listeners: Genuine and non-genuine. Genuine listeners are those who can listen to ANYONE, whereas non-genuine listeners only choose people to listen to, and they don't listen to the rest. So how do we identify whose genuine and whose not? Simple.

1. Non-genuine listeners, as mentioned earlier, will only choose people to listen to. This means that to others, they will not give their full attention. They will tend to look away, let themselves be distracted to other things, and so on.

2. Another type of non-genuine listeners will tend to bring the focus to THEMSELVES. For example, if A is sharing with X, and X suddenly shares about an experience that X experienced before, but the "spotlight" SHIFTS to X, it ends up X doing the talking when A is having a problem. Genuine listeners are different. They may share as well, but they will lead it back to the speaker's problem.

3. The next type of non-genuine listeners will try to solve the speaker's problem quickly. Example, A is sharing with X, but X thinks X knows what to do with the problem, and tries to help A out, by telling A what A should do.

4. The last type of non-genuine listeners will try to shut the speaker out quickly. It's somehow related to number 3, though a bit different. Instead of trying to solve the problem, they will say, "Ahh, it's ok. Just don't bother about the situaion. Why think so much?" etc.

Genuine listeners however, are none of the above, WITH the exception of number 1. They will give their best attention, make sure that the speaker is being listened to, affirm the speaker, asks questions to make the speaker share more, and not saying ANYTHING. In the end, if it's required, try to give some advice and be encouraging. It's not just in sharing-problem-conversations; ANY kind of conversation at all for that matter.

Common sense? Ya.

If you readers think you fall under any of the four types, you know what to do, 'cause you either change or be changed. If you think you're genuine, then good for you. Prove it.

You'll never know if anyone needs a listening ear...

-eNd-